Deciding to get a divorce is a hard decision for many married couples to make. Once you make the decision, telling the kids is one of the next steps.
You should not tell your children until you are completely sure of the decision. Once you are sure, you should tell the kids before anyone else, so you ensure they hear the news directly from you.
Tell them together
According to Psychology Today, you should put your differences aside and share the news together. This shows you have a united front as parents. To minimize emotions when you tell them, plan what you are going to say ahead of time.
Give a no-blame explanation
No matter what ages your children are, you do not have to share details as to why the divorce is happening. However, you should give them a general explanation that does not blame the other parent. Healthychildren.org discusses that you should use simple and clear language.
Your children may have questions right away, or they may need some time to process the information. Address obvious questions, such as where everyone is going to live, if the kids have to change schools and if it was their fault, even if your children do not ask them. Understand that this is a tough time and answer all their questions as best as you can.
Reiterate your love as parents
Along with knowing the divorce is not their fault, children need to feel safe and loved at this time. Let them know you will both be there for them, no matter what, and that you both love them.